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Index » Lifestyle & Fashion » Marriages
 

The More Magnificent the Dowry, the Greater the Love

 
Author: Vlady Peters

Although we think of dowries as an old fashioned custom where the parents need to add to the brides charms by bribing the groom or his family with a few essentials such as a cow or two, in many countries where the womans status is no different than it was centuries ago, the custom continues with some very tragic twists.

These days dowries may take the form of cars, white goods such as washing machines, and of course the most acceptable, money. Problems arise once the wedding is over. Having had time to think about it, the groom and his family, wonder whether the bargain they made was as profitable as it could have been.

While some make the best of it, others turn to blackmail to squeeze a little bit more out of the brides family. There are veiled threats that if the dowry is not increased, the bride will not be the happy young wife that she is. Physical violence to the young wife is not unheard of, and thousands of deaths of wives are being attributed to the ill-will of the groom and his family unhappy with the size of the dowry.

The continuation of keeping a woman as either her fathers or her husband's servant, is often defended on the grounds of custom and culture. It is the custom of the particular culture to restrict a woman's movement. And it is unlikely, so say the defenders' of this custom, that a woman would want to be more free if given that right of greater personal freedom. It is culture that a woman desires nothing more than to stay at home, and they would take no pleasure in being able to attend the theatre, or eat at a restaurant, or take a walk in a public place without being thought a floozy.

Couple of centuries ago, it was the custom throughout Europe that mining industrialists in good times paid their workers just enough to keep them alive. It was also the custom that when the mining industry was not doing so well, then the subsistent wage was cut down to starvation level. It was the custom that children as young as four or five worked underground for as long as twelve hours a day. It was the custom that in those same mines pregnant women were dying giving birth to still-born babies.

I doubt that theres too many people bewailing the change to those particular practices, although, no doubt, the industrialists werent too happy at the time.

Those who defend the current subjugation of women on the grounds that it is culture, and that the women themselves do not seek to be free from it, would probably find that the culture invoked, is benefiting someone and its not the women.

Author Bio:

Vlady Peters

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant performing weddings, naming, renenewal of vows and commitment ceremonies both for Australian citizens and for overseas couples visiting friends and relatives in Australia.

She is the author of two traditionally published books, "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings" and "The Small Organisation Handbbook" and is in the process of releasing two ebooks dealing with weddings and honeymoons.

Her major interest is research into customs and traditions of weddings.

By going back to the roots of customs, she believes couples can more clearly differentiate between what is essential in a wedding ceremony, and what is merely a personal preference.

This allows them to choose a ceremony reflecting their own situation within the framework of legal requirements.

Vlady has a bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Government, and has studied the writing of novels and romances. She has written children picture books as well as novels.

She is a member of Queesland Civil Marriage Celebrants - the largest Civil Marriage Celebrants Association in Australia - as well as member of Celebrants' Training Association.

She is also a member of Australian Authors, as well as Romance Writers Association where for a number of years she was the Convenor of the prestigious Emma Darcy Award - Australia's leading Lady of Romance.

You can search for this article using: marriage license, marriage records, marriage counseling, marriage help, arranged marriages
 
 
 

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